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More Edjumacation

Overheard at Southwood High school

Preppie student #1: If you could be any vegetable what would you be?
Preppie Student #2: A strawberry

We don't need no edmujacation

Overheard at Southwood High School

Slacker student 1: Bro, what lake is Wasaga Beach on?
Slacker student 2: Hell, i don't know, i am bad at History.

Honesty is the best policy

overheard on Water Street


Panhandler begging for change: Spare some change for an old hippy to buy some pot?

Can i try the blonde?

Overheard at Main Street Grill

Hostess to customer: We have wine tasting here often, next month we are having a girlfriend tasting.

Customers Husband: I want to be there for that!



Thanks to Saywhat for that one!

Summer School anyone

Overheard at Jacob Hespeler High School:

Student # 1: I know this is stupid, but are Buffalo extinct?
Student # 2: No, but they used to be!



mikeydod sent this one in.

Reasons to be cheerful

Overheard in the Cambridge Center

1st Teenager: I hate my life
2nd Teenager: Yea, but your socks are cool!

Damn Dollar Store Super powers

Overheard at The Nutty Parrott

Drunk guy at Bar to girl next to him: Hey there sweetie
Girl: You can see me?
Drunk Guy: Yeah!
Girl: Damn, my cloak of invisibility isn't working!

From Gerrylicious

Personal Hygene is good

Overheard at dairy Queen on Water street.

Mother to Daughter: Did You brush your teeth?
Daughter to mother: Yea, want to lick my gums?

Be nice now!

Overheard at Suzy Shier.

Wife: Do you like this
Husband: It's nice
Wife: Nice Nice or Nice, now let's get the hell out of here nice?
Husband: Oh Look, i think the car is on fire!

Thank's Gwen for that one

Man's Nursery Rhymes

Overheard in the Cambridge Center

Man to infant son in stroller:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
Humpty Dumpty hired a great lawyer
Humpty Dumpty sued the pants off the wall maker

A new language?

Overheard at Tim hortons in Preston

2 middle aged men talking about their jobs.
1st guy: What they did is just plain hypocrisy
2nd guy: What the hell does hip hop have to do with his being fired?
1st guy: Not hiphop, hypocrisy
2nd guy: I can't keep up with the different types of music.
1st guy; Let's just go get a beer.

Always a New Country to discover

Overheard at Zehr's in Hespeler

Husband and wife in checkout line

Wife: Let's go to Ali baba for supper tonight
Husband: Sure, we will just board our private jet
Wife: It's in Kitchener you moron
Husband: Oh, i thought you meant the country
Wife: There is no country named Ali Baba
Husband: Isn't it next to Iran?
Wife: That's Iraq
Husband: That's what i meant, same difference.
Wife: I am glad you teach Math, not geography.

He does ride a bus!

Overheard on Cambridge Transit

Long haired bearded middle aged man getting on bus to teenagers blocking the door:
Lookout, move out of the way, Jesus is now boarding.




Tip of the hat to Bob. Keep riding those buses and sending me this stuff.

He makes sense anyway!

Overheard in Hespeler

Middle age guy sitting on a bench on Queen Street: You know what sucks?
His friend sitting next to him: A vacuum?
Ist guy: your an asshole.

Starbucks anyone?

Overheard in the Tim Hortens at the Delta.

Young preppie looking girl: I want a small 1/2 decafe, 1/2 regular with 1/2 cream and 1/2 milk and...
Young preppies friend: Stupid, we are in Timmies, you want that go to starbucks.
1st preppie: Too far to walk.

Overheard at Giant Tiger in Preston:

1st Stoner Dude: Bud,What day is Good Friday
2nd Stoner Dude: Ahh, Friday
1st Stoner Dude: wicked.

Submitted by Art in Preston.

Dressed for success

Overheard on water Street

Young man wearing a light sweater: I feel naked
His friend: I'm glad your not!

Thanks Gary for that one!


If you overhear something you like, just comment on here or e-mail me
lonesomepicker@g2gm.com.

How to die

Overheard Downtown Preston

Two old men waiting for the bus.
First Old man: You should quit smoking, that will kill ya
Second old man: Why? You want me to die from something else?

Psychic?

Overheard in the Cambridge Centre

Two young men in their early 20's

First guy...i got a letter from the government and i am pissed off
Second guy..Why? What do they want
First guy..apparently i am not eligible for welfare
Second guy..welfare?..you work at sportcheck,you can't claim welfare
First guy...how else can i afford those new sneakers?

What?

Overheard in a Tim Hortons.

Teenager to Friend: You working today?
Friend answers: Boy, i am here with you, are you spaced?

Deathe Dump

Overheard in the Cambridge Center.

Two guy's in the bathroom.
First guy...think anybody ever died in these stalls?
Second guy...no, but the next guy going into my stall might!

I think he is going home alone!

Young man at the duke and Duchess: So, what are you doing later?
Young woman: Going home to scotchgard my bathrobe!